Should some types of parenting “Advice” be punishable by
1) A whipping with a wet noodle
2) Never talk to them again
3) DEATH…a LONG slow painful death ; )
Watch and find out.
Archive for Parenting with Purpose – Page 2
And of Course VIce Versa!
I have just finished delivering “The Gift” in Orlando, a very cool group of people, many of whom were there to improve the quality of their relationships.
It has me thinking about how difficult most of our society makes relationships, and how our current divorce rate hovers somewhere between 50 – 60% depending upon who you read, and this does not even begin to comment on the happiness of those that remain together, you do not have to look far and wide to know that even many of the relationships that still together are not REALLY working. Relationships are one of the most fascinating and beautiful ways for us to discover ourselves, grow evolve and make our unique contribution to the world, yet most of them are anything but that. Â Is it any wonder that some of the best selling info products on the web are “How to save your marriage” “You can avoid divorce”
I love The Beatles song “All You Need is Love” Â after all it has a great beat and it is easy to dance to ; ) Â But it is symbolic of a core issue, myth, fantasy that our society seems hell bent on perpetuating.
Lets be clear, love is beautiful, love is amazing, hey I will even go so far as to say love makes the world go round. Â That said let be even clearer on this point when it comes to primary relationships that actually work, that are sustainable, meaningful and fulfilling LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH!!
Just because I am afraid I was unclear and perhaps was beating around the bush I will say it again. Â Love is not enough for a primary relationship to sustain the tests of time. Â I know that this statement wrankels many people but that does not make the statement any less true.
There was a gentleman in The Gift that had a statement that I found interesting “God and nature did not design marriage or relationships for the fulfillment of each others needs, it was created for each of us to heal our childhood wounds”  I think this is a fascinating statement as I would view the healing of our childhood wounds as a fundamental need.  I think what he meant was that we are not there to dance to each others whims, have my supper ready, bring home a  big pay check, provide a place for me to belong, need me so I feel needed.  Yes I do get this part and I agree, but another part of me wonders if this is just one more way to push away, deny and pretend that we as individuals do not have needs, or sometimes even worse perpetuate the myth that we can simply fulfill all our own needs.Â
In the Creator’s Code Couples Weekend “The Power Between” we  create the framework for the following:
1) Personal consciousness of our own individual beliefs our partners beliefs  how they play out together in our relationship
2) Then we get to what are our REAL needs the core drivers, not the mechanics, stories and drama (this is what I think my friend and participant was meaning about helping each other heal our childhood wounds) and from a clean clear loving space create structures, processes and agreements to support one another to get those needs met
3) Â The standard that we are shooting for is simply this. Â To have a standing agreement that if one of us asks DIRECTLY for what we want and it is possible (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually) for the other to GIVE it they do. Â If they are unable to give it then they explain what is going on for them AND they support the partner in getting that need met in an alternative way. Â Clearly just because they could not fulfill the need it does not mean that it has gone away.
The beauty of creating, applying and integrating this into your relationship, is that one of the most wanted  killers of primary relationships quite literally magically disappears.  The name of that is expectations.  The reality is that unconscious and unexpressed expectation has already created damage in your relationship, on both sides but it does not need to be that way, it is possible to banish unmet expectation from your relationship once and for ALL!
If having this type of clarity of self and your partner is interesting, and you would like to transform how you fulfill each others core needs, be sure that you check out “The Power Between” Â
” When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself. ”
Deepak Chopra
Are you Tired of KNOWING but not DOING?
I know, I know this can be a touchy subject, it is touchy because of the truth of the statement. We ALL have knowledge that we are not applying and integrating into our lives. Welcome to the human race : )
I want to share a statement that an old friend and business partner once said to me that I was not to thrilled to hear at the time. “To know and not to do, is not quite yet to know” it may not be grammatically correct (english was his second language) however precisely how he said it struck a deep resonant chord with me.
This phrase has always surfaced for me when my brain want to quickly say “I know that!” and is quickly followed with if that is true am I living my life in alignment with the concept or tool? If not, I clearly do not know it. If I AM applying the concept or tool then ask the follow up question, “What is the next step of application and integration of this in my life”
Clearly this is often much easier said than done, but here is a tool that can help.
Based on results.
If we are willing to step outside of our intellectual knowledge and awareness, and simply HONESTLY look at the REAL RESULTS in our life right this second, it will tell you with 100% accuracy and clarity what you actually KNOW.
I realize that this is not always fun, it is not always uplifting, but is is always accurate and always honest, more importantly it gives you a real place to start to create the results you desire and deserve in your life.
For more information and support to translate what you intellectually understand into real tangible results in your life check out:
http://www.personalbestseminars.com/TruthRevealedJV-Fall2011/index-static.html
Last week while getting ready for my trip to Orlando to speak for Marco Kozlowski, I had a fleeting thought…wouldn’t it be cool if Wyatt came with em and we could have a father and son adventure.
Then I got thinking about the mechanics, timing and dismissed it. Well Cory and I discussed it the night before I was to leave and 2 hours on the phone with a super helpful Westjet rep, Wyatt and I were off to Orlando for an adventure!! I am not sure who was more excited me or Wyatt.
We were off to see Lego Land Florida, Wyatt is Lego fixated these days. So off we go, Wyatt is fantastic, I speak and then I discover that Lego Land is not even open yet!! Still under construction!! WTF?? In my excitement I totally did not see that on the website, Crap! (and other words!)
Wyatt totally coped well with the news, we hit the lego store downtown Disney instead (in full Spiderman gear). Then off to Harry Potters world which by the way was pretty amazing.
Some highlights:
Wyatt was super brave on the Harry Potter ride (there was a junior marine on our ride who was covering his eyes but not Wyatt!)
We ate Gator bites (deep fried Alligator, yum!)
Wyatt can swim/dog paddle almost 20 feet!
Wyatt had great conversations with BOTH Captain America and Spiderman
Plus much much more.
One of the cutest things was when Wyatt was shopping for his Magic Wand and he takes the Harry Potter wand, flings it around a bit and then says “Dad, this one is broken, it does not have the magic in it” Which made me smile to say the least, but the big lesson for me is that I sometimes forget he is still only 5 years old! He is so smart and mature most of the time that I simply think of him as a little adult. But what a great reminder, “Dad this wand is broken”. Ah the beauty of imagination and possibility.
Well I hope that Wyatt remembers this trip as fondly as I will. A great adventure, great quality time with my oldest and a memory I will treasure for the rest of my life!
As most of you know teaching my boys entrepreneurship I view as one of my most significant jobs as a parent. Wyatt and I have been testing businesses, having meetings, we created his “Business Idea” book. I love feeding his brilliant ideas, some of them include:
- Lemonade stand
- Recycling business (collecting bottles and cans)
- Professional video game player (I am not so keen on this one, but he thinks it is brilliant)
- Sell his old toys
- Create an “Art Stand” draw pictures of people. If you need a stick drawing of you and your family Wyatt is taking commissions : )
- A massage business (he gives a wicked massage!)
- A cleaning business
All of these things ideas I have been pleased with not necessarily for the quality of the idea, but because Wyatt has ideas, he is willing to try different things I am thrilled!!
By the way I want to plug a fantastic book, “Young Bucks, How To Raise A Future Millionaire” By Troy Dunn a self made millionaire who had an amazing Dad who supported him to become financially free and he is passing on his wisdom and experience to his kids and yours if you read and apply the ideas!
http://www.amazon.ca/Young-Bucks-Raise-Future-Millionaire/dp/0785221859
Now the purpose of this post is to acknowledge the simplicity and brilliance of kids and specifically my oldest Wyatt.
Last week Wyatt shared that he has a new business idea, and that is he is going to look around the house and pick up money he finds. Now this at first seems to me to be kind of cute (that is until I cannot find change to wash my cars!)
So Wyatt, has discovered all the little baskets and trays that keys and change get dropped off into throughout the house and is soon walking around the house holding a huge zip lock bag full of change asking me to feel how heavy it is because of ALL his $$$ money.
So far, so good…cute.
Now this is where it gets interesting last week Wyatt is talking to Cory while she is doing laundry and he watches Cory pull money out of pocket after pocket after pocket.
Shortly after Wyatt announces to Cory that his new business is “Taking the money out of the pockets before they are washed” and that Cory from this point forward is to call him prior to washing clothes so that he can do his business.
Now when Cory first told me about this honestly my first reaction was “That little s*&%” he does not want to do the REAL work of some of his other business ideas” Then my old Saskatchewan conditioning goes to “That is Lazy!” Which whenever that thought hits me I know that is a RED FLAG of epic proportions. For years I have worked on ease and flow and have done my best to release the old belief of “It has to be hard to be good” clearly it still holds some real estate in my belief system.
I also have a mission as a parent to raise “conscious, independent contributing member of society” not an entitled, self righteous, dependent burden on society. Thus I want my boys to be WILLING to work hard, yet wise enough to know that it is not necessary.
Back to the point; after my initial reaction of that is too easy and potentially lazy…YIKES my body and beliefs react even as I write that!!
After more thought I came to really appreciate the beauty and simplicity of Wyatt’s new business. He has mastered in one simple model many of the aspects of business that I have worked far to hard at for far to long. Think about it for a moment. He has the following going for him.
1) He is placing himself precisely where the cash is, literally emptying the pockets!
2) He is taking advantage of something that is happening anyway, Cory washes clothes on a regular basis and he has Cory calling him when there is an income opportunity!
3) He is accessing money that we do not even realize is there and it is now his.
The more I think about, timing, location and support I love his business model.
Well done Wyatt, I love you and I am proud of you!
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